7.22.2007

Who knew?

I can make white rice and brown rice and jasmine rice and risotto. I can make fried rice, wild rice, forbidden black rice, and Bhutanese red rice. But, apparently, I can not make Uncle Ben’s instant rice:


This is the result of following Uncle Ben's directions to a T. Perhaps Uncle Ben enjoys his rice in a single solid rubbery clump. Or perhaps this is the result of my failing as a cook. But the theory that makes the most sense is that this is just a crap product, masterminded by mad scientists who have sent Uncle Ben to bed early and taken over his kitchen to see whether or not we're stupid enough to believe that rice was meant to be instant. Yeah, we're stupid enough.

2 comments:

mls said...

The issue is that this is 'converted' rice. Before it was rice, it was something else. Now it is rice, but not quite. For a similar example, take those who convert from other religions to Judaism. Rabbis consider them fully Jewish, and so does G-d apparently, when they die. But they don't get all the Jewish jokes, and not surprisingly, many converts to Judaism fail to develop a strong taste for Manischweitz. It is the same thing with this rice.

Leena! said...

Hey, I managed to get chinese dumplings stuck to a non stick pan that had oil in it. And I've been to culinary school. My mom's pretty proud of me.