The asparagus is stressing me out.

Am I the only person who suffers from Extreme Vegetable Panic? I’m always seduced by bushel after peck of the fabulous farm-fresh vegetables at the greenmarket on Saturdays. I load up the fridge with (season permitting) snap peas and ramps and strawberries and leeks and corn and tomatoes and rhubarb and kale and just-picked baby lettuces, delighted at how well we’ll be eating during the week. And then comes the week.

On Monday, I go to work and there’s some sort of major crisis. We’re gonna lose the account! The client meeting is tomorrow! If we don’t have a new campaign in the next six minutes, the planets gonna blow! Tuesday and Wednesday are much the same and my produce starts to wilt or rot or dry out or whatever form of slow death is appropriate to its genus. By Thursday, I’m desperate to leave work before midnight so I can shell and sauté my fava beans and toss them with fresh goat cheese and mint before midnight. Sometimes I’m successful. Other times, I have no choice but to throw away their sad little corpses.

This is my weekly routine. And I’m not capable of ignoring the lovely, fresh things at the farmer’s market, because they’re always flaunting their lovely freshness at me. I’m terrified of joining a CSA, because I’m sure every week would end with a major vegetable-induced meltdown.

This week’s victim? Asparagus. One pound. But I wasn’t letting this one go down without a fight. I left work at 9:15. Walked in the door at 10:09 and, with barely a smooch on Nick’s cheek, set about stemming and blanching it and making a Spaghetti Carbonara to mix the bright, green stalks into. We ate at a quarter to 11. By that time, I was too tired to even eat that much and I collapsed into bed shortly thereafter. But I slept well, because this week I won the battle against my Extreme Vegetable Panic. Next week’s another story, though.

Spaghetti & Asparagus Alla Carbonara
Serves 4

1 lb. fresh asparagus
1 lb. spaghetti.
1/3 lb. bacon, diced
1 clove of garlic, smashed
4 eggs
1 ½ cups fresh grated parmeggiano reggiano
Lots of fresh black pepper

1. Set a large pot of water a-boilin’ on the stove. Add lots of salt, once it comes to a boil.

2. Snap the ends off the asparagus; if you bend the stalk, the woody part will snap off naturally at exactly the point where you should be eating it. The fresher the asparagus, the more you’ll get to eat of it. (Now, can you see why I was freaking out?!). Cut the stalks into 1” pieces and plunk it into the boiling water until it’s just barely tender, not more than 3 minutes. Scoop it out with a slotted spoon and get it right into a bowl of ice water to stop the cooking.

3. Get the spaghetti going in the same boiling water you blanched your asparagus in.

4. Put the diced bacon in a skillet and cook on medium. When some of the fat has been rendered out, add the garlic clove, moving it around occasionally, until the bacon is nice and crispy. Discard the garlic.

5. Break the eggs into a large bowl. Add the cheese and whisk it all together.

6. Drain the spaghetti and add it to the eggs, tossing quickly so the egg coats the pasta. Don’t worry about salmonella.

7. Add the bacon, the bacon drippings, and the asparagus. Toss, toss, toss. Season with lots of black pepper and some salt, if necessary. Serve with extra parmeggiano reggiano.

Must. Eat. Now.

I am not pleasant when I’m hungry. And by the time I get home from work, I am very very hungry, so you can just imagine what a barrel of laughs I must be. So dinner needs to come together quickly and I’ve learned that it’s just as easy to pull together a fabulous quick dinner, as it is to pull together an average quick dinner.

Last night, on my way home, I stopped by Union Market, one of those places where it’s a really bad idea to go if you’re hungry. I drooled over the idea of a pint of Ciao Bella for dinner, but managed to walk out only with some tomatoes, smoked mozzarella, basil, and sea scallops. I like to keep a stash of fresh pesto in the freezer, whether I’ve made it or purchased it from Fresh Direct, because it lasts for ages and has a multitude of uses.

This meal is super-easy. Rachel Ray easy. It’s really all about the quality of the ingredients you’re using, and you really can’t go wrong with fresh sea scallops, as long as you don’t over cook them. Look for dry sea scallops, which aren’t called dry because they need moisturizing; it means they haven’t been pumped full of water, to plump ‘em up and make them look more appetizing at the seafood counter.

I’ve been told many times, in different restaurants, that Italians have this thing about not putting cheese on seafood dishes; something about fish coming from the sea not going with cheese that comes from the cow. Apparently, this goes back centuries. I think it’s a load of bollocks. I’m of the if-it-tastes-good-go-with-it school, and most things are greatly improved with a hefty shower of parmeggiano reggiano.

I walked in the door and started cooking at 8:16pm. I had this all ready by 8:42, and it would have been even faster had I not included a caprese salad. Ha! 26 minutes! Eat your heart out, Rachel Ray.

Whole Wheat Linguini with Spinach, Pesto, and Scallops
Serves two
3/4lb. dry sea scallops, adductor muscle removed
1/2lb. whole-wheat linguini
Salt & Pepper
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 10oz box frozen chopped spinach
3 Tbsp. fresh pesto
1/2 lemon (but have the other half handy, in case you want to add more)
Freshly ground parmeggiano reggiano

1. Rinse and pat dry scallops. Season liberally with salt and fresh pepper.
2. Boil water and get your whole-wheat linguini going. Be sure to cook it for at least a minute or a minute and a half less than the package instructs. It’s best al dente, and you’ll finish cooking it in the sauce.
3. Heat a saute pan on high and add olive oil. Once oil is hot, gently lay scallops in it, being careful to let them stay exactly where they first hit, so you get a nice crispy, brown sear. After 3 minutes, turn the scallops, and sear on the other side for another two minutes (cooking time may be less, depending on their size). Reserve in a bowl, covered.
4. Microwave spinach, covered, for three minutes. Plunk it into a mesh strainer and press on it with a large spoon, to get all the water out. Alternatively, you can bundle it into a clean dishtowel and squeeze it.
5. Drain pasta, reserving some of the cooking water, just in case you need to thin the pasta sauce.
6. With the heat on medium, toss the pasta back into the pot, along with the pesto, the spinach, and the liquid that’s accumulated underneath the scallops. If the pasta seems too dry, add the reserved pasta cooking water, a little bit at a time, not more than ¼ cup. After a minute, remove from the heat.
7. Add the lemon juice and season with salt and pepper. Taste. Add more lemon, if needed.
8. Serve with scallops on top, and lots of parmeggiano reggiano.